Woman Preemptively Refuses to Take Care of Stepdad When He’s Old, Mother Takes it Hard, Unaware of Her Daughter’s Animosity Toward Her Husband

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When you're a child, a lot of things can go over your head without realizing it. You sort of believe everything you're told, you assume that everything that happens to you is happening to everyone else, and that it's normal. As we get older, we have a more mature lens in which to observe things. We can better understand what happens to us, and make better decisions about it. If our parents are divorced, it can feel like a whirlwind of emotions that we can't control when we're younger. Hopefully in adulthood, we can navigate the heaviness of family dynamics with more tact. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who grew up with divorced parents, and wasn't particularly keen on her stepfather. She overcame her childhood traumas, but as she's now an adult and her parents are getting older, her mother has expectations from her that she's not necessarily ready to manage. 

Author image for Briana Viser Briana Viser
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  • 01
    She said she hoped that if she passed away that I would consider taking my stepdad in if he were elderly. I actually laughed out loud before even considering how a reaction might hurt her feelings.
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  • 02
    r/AITAH ⚫4 hr. ago Puzzled_Resort_750 AITAH for LAUGHING when my Mom said she'd hope I would care for my stepdad in his old age?
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  • 03
    So for some context, my Mom broke up my family when I was 6, and my brother was 11, to be with my stepdad. Our Dad moved to a neighboring state, and we only got to see him every other weekend.
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  • 04
    I've only connected all these details as an adult. My brother and I are now both in our 30s, and my dad didn't share details of the divorce until the last few years.
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  • 05
    To say I lost a lot of respect for my Mom and stepdad is an understatement. My Mom chose to replace our Dad with an angry alc ic, and thought we'd make a big happy family. Hint: It never happened. I forgive them, it was years ago, but respect is gone.
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  • 06
    Growing up with them was stressful and like walking on egg shells. If I had a disagreement with my stepdad, my mom would come home and only talk to him about what happened, before giving me a punishment. The day my brother graduated high school, he moved out. We both had nothing but distain for my
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  • 07
    stepdad. He got drink every single day, and was mean. Never physically, but verbally. I'll never forget being called a going on a date with my for boyfriend, or us following a young woman to her home after she flipped us off on the road.
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  • 08
    After I became an adult and got married at a young age, our relationship improved. I've now been married for almost 13 years, and we have two little girls together.
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  • 09
    When my stepdad comes to our house, we get along great. However, we went back to their home for Thankgiving a few years ago, and it was very stressful. Many parts of me felt like I was stepping back into high-school again.
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  • 10
    Fast foward to a conversation I had with my mom recently, we were discussing children taking in their parents in their old age. Something, I might add, my mom never did for my grandma after my grandpa di d. Why? Because my stepdad "couldn't live with her". None of her other 3 kids
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  • 11
    took her in either, and she managed okay, passing away in her own home with my mom and aunt at her side.
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    Anyhow, we were discussing this subject and how many parents might be taken in by their children after their spouses pass away. So, for example, my mom coming to stay with us after my stepdad passes away...my MIL, or my Dad, etc.
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    She said she hoped that if she passed away that I would consider taking my stepdad in if he were elderly. I actually laughed out loud before even considering how a reaction might hurt her feelings.
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  • 14
    First of all, even if it were my own dad, I would prefer to take in one of our mom's if I'm going to be a primary care giver. And of course if we never actually took anyone in to our home, we would still help and support them however we could.
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  • 15
    But my mom, expecting this of me with my stepdad?? What magical land is this, where irony doesn't exist. I have never considered him a father figure, he played a huge role in breaking apart my family at a young age, and refused to take in my terminally I'll grandma when she needed it most.
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  • 16
    So, AITAH for laughing?
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  • 17
    AubreeAdamss • 4h ago • No, you're not the a hole. Given your history with him and your mom's request, it's understandable to laugh at something that feels so ironic.
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  • 18
    O... 3h ago Edited 3h ago • Honestly, she was pushing her luck even asking if you'd take her in. But to ask it for a man who is neither a bl d relation nor a father figure and made your childhood miserable is absurd. NTA. At all. You deserve to keep your home a safe haven for yourself.
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  • 19
    CaptainBeefy79 • 3h ago • Top 1% Commenter NTA. You don't get to be a giant a-he all your (step) childrens lives, make their childhoods a living h_I, and then expect them to give a crip about you later in life.
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  • 20
    grayblue_grrl • 3h ago Top 1% Commenter NTA.... How did she react? And how did she not know this man made your lives miserable under HER roof?
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family drama marriage drama family feud relationships lol divorce love family stepdad reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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